so guess what i saw

Saw someone in the past on you guessed it facebook. lol
and o man the old me wants to come out in a hot second and tell her about herself.
BUT you know me. i decided against it. this was someone in my past who i never met but she had a problem with me. she didn't like me. she held so much against me. because of a guy. she made it her business to devour me and spit me out to anyone and everyone who know us both. the only reason SHE DIDN'T LIKE ME BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO DATE MY EX.
i looked at her and remember where i was at, how i let this one person determine the way i looked at myself, how i began to hate her and myself with every fiber in my bone. i am not sure if anyone knew what that one person did to me. or better put what i allowed her to do to me, how i began to pull myself into a hole and laid there because she said i wasn't beautiful i began to internalize it.

its crazy what happens when you allow someone to take over your own thoughts of yourself. for years i did that but when i looked on her facebook page today i realized that it wasn't pity for myself i felt anymore. i felt a sadness for her and who she is because i am slowly but surely excepting every fiber of myself and no longer talking about what others look like or whats wrong with them. who knows if she started to become a better person who knows if he ever knew of any of this. I am now one of his passing friends and i am happy that we can have some type of agreement. i am going natural i no longer look like her or anything about myself holds the same place. i no longer bicker over him and he going to the prom with her because naturally i just love and care about him in a friendship way.

What i am trying to say is that don't sit around for 4 years holding on to what someone said to you, what they did and how they made you feel. they probably forgot about and even though you didn't they don't care. your no longer something to occupy their mind. don't let one person become the reason you hate yourself the reason you harbor horrible feelings. i did. for awhile i have long scroll of the things that people have said that still have a lasting effect on me. But nowadays i just pray over it. ask God to break of all that i still hold because i want to be amazing just for myself. So be yourself love yourself and embrace everything that you have to offer. and who you are because that in itself is amazing.

With something deep in my mind, heart and soul
like Taraji says "iluvmesumu"
-Whit.