Alot of Feelings Passing through My Mind

i will do this in a series of atleast three to four notes we will see how it goes though.
LET ME SET YOU UP FOR ALL OF THIS FIRST.
- i am blessed, God is doing powerful things in my life.
- i am alive, so if i can look up i can get up.
- i am amazing, somewhere in my heart. my true self vulnerable Whitley shines.

for some reason i have been in a wierd state of mind, i know i am living, i know i am here but i find myself pushing along the days as if i am a log never finishing what i need to. fighting with myself constantly. i am tired of alot of these feelings but i cant avoid it. some things i have held on to and im not to sure why exactly i am still holding on to something that i feel doesnt affect me. i have built up a pile of emotions and just said i will save them for later but i find myself just wanting to break. i dont want to do anything but sit in the house and think. and read books. learn about who i am because somewhere, someone said that you cant know yourself until you know who you are. i believe that. i trust that in my mind body and soul.

so sometimes i dont want to wake up, i want to sleep for a lil longer so that i wont be on a verge of a break every five minutes. a year has passed and i am better than before.

so the Lord is working and he will keep working.